Have you ever had a dream come true? I mean an honest to goodness, just like you imagined, daydream come true? It's unsettleing! This is not meant to sound pessimistic but dreams aren't really supposed to come true. Goals come true! Dreams live in your heart and your subconcious, giving you hope and purpose and light in your trials. But they're dreams! If they were meant to come true than they would be called plans! But here I find myself, three days from a dream come true.
When I was a little girl, I would crawl into my mother's lap and she would pull out her photo album. Inside were pictures of her in Norway, Switzerland, France, Italy and England. There were pictures of her at boarding school and playing with her siblings in Norweigian snow. My personal favorites were the pictures of her marrying my father in a little town just outside London. These places were exotic and elite where magical things happened. Paris, the city of romance and lovers. London, historic and mysterious where 1500 years of untold stories pulsed from its very walls.
I dreamed that someday I would walk the streets of those cities. But it was a dream, mostly I never imagined it could really come true. Now I am three days from boarding a plane and living a dream. It is kind of upsetting! What do you do when dreams come true!? I suppose you get new ones! I am just so afraid that I will go and it won't be amazing, it won't be wonderful and it won't even be fun! Or I'll go and it will fly by and I won't absorb any of it and I'll have no memories.
I know, I worry too much. I guess part of me feels like this summer is going to represent a division in my life. Like BC and AD, or BCE and CE. Laura's life will be measured BE and AE: Before England and After England! Does anyone else know what I'm talking about when I say that I can feel the change coming? Does anyone else ever feel like that? Something is looming, good or bad, it's something big and I'm not sure I'm ready for it. I was just beginning to get comfortable with the way things are now.
When I was a little girl, I would crawl into my mother's lap and she would pull out her photo album. Inside were pictures of her in Norway, Switzerland, France, Italy and England. There were pictures of her at boarding school and playing with her siblings in Norweigian snow. My personal favorites were the pictures of her marrying my father in a little town just outside London. These places were exotic and elite where magical things happened. Paris, the city of romance and lovers. London, historic and mysterious where 1500 years of untold stories pulsed from its very walls.
I dreamed that someday I would walk the streets of those cities. But it was a dream, mostly I never imagined it could really come true. Now I am three days from boarding a plane and living a dream. It is kind of upsetting! What do you do when dreams come true!? I suppose you get new ones! I am just so afraid that I will go and it won't be amazing, it won't be wonderful and it won't even be fun! Or I'll go and it will fly by and I won't absorb any of it and I'll have no memories.
I know, I worry too much. I guess part of me feels like this summer is going to represent a division in my life. Like BC and AD, or BCE and CE. Laura's life will be measured BE and AE: Before England and After England! Does anyone else know what I'm talking about when I say that I can feel the change coming? Does anyone else ever feel like that? Something is looming, good or bad, it's something big and I'm not sure I'm ready for it. I was just beginning to get comfortable with the way things are now.
No comments:
Post a Comment